he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
