I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
