he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize