i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
