4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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