In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
These tits shall not be calmed
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
