i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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