party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
