Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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