I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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