Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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