Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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