He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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