So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Dick very happy bro
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
