Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
