Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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