The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
