Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
