So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
