HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
