3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize