i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
this just has baby written all over it
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I'm at about main and main street
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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