Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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