1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
