Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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