Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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