You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I touched a dick in church today
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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