We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
