Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
