I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
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