Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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