I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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