you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
It's shark week go big or go home
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
