sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Randomize
