we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
