You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
