pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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