is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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