Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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