Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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