You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
