did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
