Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I could fuck to npr.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
