my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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