Ambien. No doubt about it.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
