; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Just pee around me
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
