I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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