the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Terrible idea I love it
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
