i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize