32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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