a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
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