We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
