who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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