I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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