i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
