theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
