the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
