If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Randomize
