Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
