That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
