Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
