she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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