shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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