I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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