Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize